you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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