i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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