I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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