oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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