Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize