The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
