This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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