is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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