Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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