Jerry, you need to find god
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
