I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
