I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
