Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize