i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
