He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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