You work out of a Hotel?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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