i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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