Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just high enough for therapy.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
