Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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