Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
