He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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