So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
