I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
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I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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