he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
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No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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