I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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