was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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