cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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