boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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