The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
