Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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