hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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