woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
