so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
