I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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