ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
