you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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