Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
