if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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