2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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