Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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