Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
