I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
sex in a hospital.. check
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
