Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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