have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
