if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
