So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
