Say something about gay babies.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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