omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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