Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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