You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
YAS. BRING CRAB.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
