I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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