if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
