so that wasnt chicken after all
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
