he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
