OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
