Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
