ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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