I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
