you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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