Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
