it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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