Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
